I'm really tired and beat up. I can no longer cry a single tear. I forced myself to cry but I can't seem to cry. It's just too hard. What's hard? For tears to roll down my cheeks, for me to let my ego to be crushed or to admit that I lose the battle???
I wasn't always a gloomy person. I wasn't. I'm a totally normal boring girl. But my main weakness is just that I fall in love too fast. I think its absolutely a common problem for girls. It was maybe about two years ago in a particular month that I met this person.
He was sweet, kind, gentle, religious, caring, loving, helpful and good looking. Basically, he was an absolutely perfect boyfriend that a girl or a women could ever dream of.
How we met? Well we met each other at a friend's house during fellowship gathering for youth. I didn't notice him much he wasn't that outstanding of a personality but when I got to know him better he was really just too amazing. I was introduced by a friend to him and we talked to each other, or wait was it me who talked too much about myself and I thought he thinks that I am an interesting girl. Later on, I found out he liked talkative girls. I'm one!
With a good start comes good result. He asked me out plenty of times and we did enjoyed our courting days. But, I didn't felt anything yet for him but it wasn't like that for him he really liked me. As days pass by, I feel something new when he didn't text me or called me. I'm starting to feel lonely when he is not around and sad if he didn't ask me out. Ouch! That hurts. Mommy, please tell me am I in love???
Yeah! I am indeed in love with this guy. So he asked me out and I said: YES! It was heaven going out with him. He took me to all the interesting places and eateries and it was heaven-like for me. Oh! Those sweet memories.
About three months later, I was going out with him normally and almost everyday. Then, I don't exactly know when did it started. I noticed that we had argument after another and disagreement increases daily we were or I was screaming over the phone and in front of him but he was cool and calm. I hated that.
How we met? Well we met each other at a friend's house during fellowship gathering for youth. I didn't notice him much he wasn't that outstanding of a personality but when I got to know him better he was really just too amazing. I was introduced by a friend to him and we talked to each other, or wait was it me who talked too much about myself and I thought he thinks that I am an interesting girl. Later on, I found out he liked talkative girls. I'm one!
With a good start comes good result. He asked me out plenty of times and we did enjoyed our courting days. But, I didn't felt anything yet for him but it wasn't like that for him he really liked me. As days pass by, I feel something new when he didn't text me or called me. I'm starting to feel lonely when he is not around and sad if he didn't ask me out. Ouch! That hurts. Mommy, please tell me am I in love???
Yeah! I am indeed in love with this guy. So he asked me out and I said: YES! It was heaven going out with him. He took me to all the interesting places and eateries and it was heaven-like for me. Oh! Those sweet memories.
About three months later, I was going out with him normally and almost everyday. Then, I don't exactly know when did it started. I noticed that we had argument after another and disagreement increases daily we were or I was screaming over the phone and in front of him but he was cool and calm. I hated that.
One day, I realized that I just didn't love him anymore. All the butterflies that I feel when I'm going out with him was gone it disappeared into the universe. I tried so hard to stay by his side but I just couldn't. It was too hard lying to myself and it was even harder to lie to him every time he asked: "Do you love me, babe?" How would you answer that question when you don't feel anything for a person that you do not wish to hurt in any ways.
In the end, my patience grew thinner but my lies grew bigger like the size of the Sun up above the skies. Lies only causes pain. So, I decided to tell him how I really felt about the relationship that we are having and it seems that he had a hard time to accept my abrupt decision and confession. I requested a break up immediately. I was heartless, cruel, evil and you can call me all you want but I am not going to lie to him again. I hated myself for letting go such a refined and perfect Great-Husband-Material boyfriend.
I wonder where did the LOVE that I felt for him have gone to and why can't I cry after that break up??? Now, I'm staying single and building up my courage to be in love again. I wish next time I would really love him with all my heart and soul please don't let me hurt another soul, dear self.
P/S: This story is not a true story it is adapted from various sources. Thank you. <3
I wonder where did the LOVE that I felt for him have gone to and why can't I cry after that break up??? Now, I'm staying single and building up my courage to be in love again. I wish next time I would really love him with all my heart and soul please don't let me hurt another soul, dear self.
P/S: This story is not a true story it is adapted from various sources. Thank you. <3
